This is one of my drill sergeants’ favorite lines, and one I keep asking myself.
I’m heading back to training today. In two weeks or less I should be restarting Basic. I’m ready to get going, if for no reason other than just to get the hell off this freaking post. I had a wonderful 4 weeks at home, spending time with the people I love most in the world and meeting new awesome people too. I hated leaving. Saying goodbye today was the hardest goodbye I’d ever had. Worse than the first time I left. Worse than leaving my parents’ house when I was 19.
“How bad do you want it? You have to WANT it!! Want it more than you feel your fear!! How bad do you want it?!?” One of my drill sergeants is really into this kind of pep talk.
But it makes me think. How badly do I want to earn the right to call myself an American soldier? How badly do I want this life for me and my family? Bad enough to put up with being held over in BCT for 7 months. Bad enough to put my family through all that time of not seeing me and barely talking to me. Bad enough to be too stubborn to quit, even when I wanted to.
And now I have to want it bad enough to finish 10-11 more weeks of BCT. Actual BCT (thank god), not just holding pattern BCT. 3 more months. Less, hopefully, till I graduate. Regardless…only 108 days till Christmas. 😉